i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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