Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
