I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You made out with two different species that night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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