I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
