this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
