I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he shaved USA in his pubs
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
