About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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