I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
