so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
