He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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