I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
