Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
