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Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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