I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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