we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
