Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
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The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
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You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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