Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
North Korea, Best Korea!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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