Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
