census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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