okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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