i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
