if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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