your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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