I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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