so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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