Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize