when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
