Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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