we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
