I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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