hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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