I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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