Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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