guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
