I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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