U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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