I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dignity is for republicans.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
