Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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