The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
