The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize