whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
