I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
