I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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