Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
