Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
