She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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