it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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