I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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