Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize