I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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