I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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