yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
