Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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