So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
